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Friday, November 26, 2010

Throat Rape

Sorry I haven't updated the blog in a while, but I've been in bed, miserably sick, for the last week! Basically, it feels like someone raped my throat with some sort of cactus-like dildo. I had about a year-and-a-half healthy streak going there, too...which is a long time for frail Jews like me.

And can I just say, I picked the worst possible time to get sick: holiday season. If you think commercials are bad year-round, they're nothing compared to the shit they rush to usher out in time for Black Friday. There are the always-vomit-inducing Kay Jewellers commercials. This year has also brought with it an especially terrible Target ad campaign for some sort of special sale aimed at mentally disabled women (watch the commercials and you'll see what I mean).

And finally, there are the car commercials. It's irritating enough that there are people running around with enough extra money to buy their loved ones brand new fucking cars as holiday gifts...and I'm not one of them, but I feel like these ads gets worse every year. One has the whole family rigging some elaborate giant stocking as a curtain behind which they hide the new car with which they elaborately surprise Mom. Another one has the car actually parked in the living room of the house. And here, my least favorite of the year. Hyundai trying to "indify" their ad campaign with annoyingly staccato indie versions of the same crap-shit holiday songs I have to hear every goddamn year. Am I supposed to find this awkward girl who keeps nervously looking over her shoulder for the insane serial killer with the beard and weird instruments endearing? Because she's not...nor is the car:

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