Travel Log Part III: Simply the Best!

The best mantra...

The aforementioned family trip was to Israel.  I love a lot of things about my motherland, but they are seriously insecure over there.  That's right; I said it!  You've never heard an entire population say that everything is "the best" as much as you do in Israel.  "I know a place that has the best hummus."  "You have to go here for the best shawarma."  "You never seen an apartment like this in America; these are the best apartments."

But my favorite was when my father's lawyer there tried to tell me that Israel was the best at being the worst!  He was talking about the problem of the increasing gap between rich and poor in Israel, and I said, yeah, we're having the same problem in the U.S. right now.  And he said,  "No.  Not like here.  Here it is the most."  And I argued, because I have an issue with not being able to just let things go, but you get the idea.  It's an entire country of one-uppers.  Israel is the best at being the best... Just ask them.

Travel Log Part II: Suffocation

"I feel smothered..."

I wrote this upon my return from a family trip to Israel...

I just got back from a family vacation that I couldn't afford and didn't want to take in the first place.  Let me preface this tirade by saying, I love my family . . . but, I don't think you understand the degree of suffocation imposed by them.  Imagine every time you leave a room, being asked, by three people, where you're going.  Imagine then being asked where you were and what you were doing, every time you enter a room, again, three different times, by three different people.  And this is all within the confines of a small three-bedroom apartment.

Also, imagine having someone knock on the door every time you go to the bathroom!  Seriously.  Even if you did just say, "I'm going to the bathroom," during your "exit interview" in the room you previously occupied.

And finally, imagine, that on the rarer-than-a-dodo-bird occasion you actually get to sneak away for a meal, or a walk, alone, or even with just your brothers, you get multiple phone calls checking in!

My little brother and I left a day before our parents, and I'm not kidding when I say, that when dropping us off at the airport, they parked so they could come inside and literally fucking stare at us from across the room for 25 minutes while we waited in line to check our bags!

Did I mention that I got called fat like a dozen times?  I put on a solid 10 pounds before this trip because, in order to take this "vacation" that I never wanted to take in the first place, I had to work seven days a week for several weeks prior in order to make up for the time I was going to lose while away, and that didn't leave much free time for basketball.  Last.  Family.  Vacation.  For.  A.  While.

Oh, and I got sick when I got back because I didn't sleep the entire trip because my big bro was sick in the large bed, and I had to share a room with little bro, in which we had beds that were so narrow I was forced to sleep on my side...because I'm fat...

Travel Log

"Snooki want smush smush!"

Alright, so I know I've been neglecting my Curmudgeonly duties of late, but for the four of you who may have actually missed me, I'm gonna try to force in some entries over the next few days...much akin to how Snooki forces her sloppy meatball body into human clothing.

At the end of last year, I got a chance to do some traveling, some for pleasure, some not-so-much, so for a change of pace, I think I'm going to do a brief series on those travels.  I was in Israel, Vietnam, Cambodia, and Thailand (man, my life looks good from a distance), and I took a few (very few; don't get too excited) notes while I was away.  Should be interesting to look back.  I'll start now, with my first note, from LAX...

Airports are breeding grounds for passive-aggressive behavior.  People cutting in lines, trying to squeeze past other people in aisle ways, violently putting seats back, digging knees into violently thrust-back seatbacks, forcing luggage into overheads with complete disregard for others' property...  It's awful...and hilarious. 

(I've touched on this before, but I obviously felt so strongly about it that I needed to make another note about just months after the original post: http://iamthecurmudgeon.blogspot.com/2010/03/worst-in-flight.html .)