Central Issue

That's the ticket...to the fiery bowels of hell.

Is it wrong that when dating a girl, whether or not she has central air factors into my decision making re: whether or not I should keep seeing her?  #seeyouinhell

La La La! I'm Not Listening!



"Inspector Todd, that's how big the tranny's butthole was!"


My little brother was mocking my belief that women's buttholes are exclusively vestigial because they do not make poopies, so he texted me, "God.  I can't wait for if and when you move in with a girl, and she gets explosive diarrhea.  You can call me on that glorious day!"

So I wrote back, "I will.  . . . Because I'll need a place to stay."

Snap Back to Reality

I have wood.

I was comparing notes with a buddy of mine about girls we've hooked up with: tattoos, piercings, shaving patterns...  So I asked him if he'd ever been with a girl with a clit ring, and right away he exclaims, "Yeah!"  Then he furrows his brow for a second and goes, "Oh, wait.  I think I'm getting confused with a porn I saw."