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Wednesday, July 1, 2009

(Exhale)

Life is so fucking exhausting, is it not? I mean, just living is such a drain. It never ends. Well, it does end, but sometimes I really feel, not soon enough. You have to be so vigilant about so many things. Think about all the crap you have to keep track of: you have to pay your bills. Your car insurance bill, your health insurance bill, you credit card bills, your phone bills, your electric bill, your cable bill, your rent, your doctor bills (because the health insurance bill you consistently pay doesn't actually cover any of your medical expenses).

Then there's all the other stuff: you try to exercise, you try to eat healthy, you have to go grocery shopping, do laundry, keep up with your favorite TV shows and see the movies you never got around to seeing in the theaters because you were too busy keeping up with other shit, keep up with emails, work (ugh), shave, shower, clean your room, clean your bathroom, clean your kitchen, wash your dishes, cut your nails, call your parents, get your oil changed, sleep, get your hair cut, make your bed, put gas in your car, occasionally try to go out and maintain your friendships with people who try to make you feel guilty about not coming out enough (where the fuck do they find the time?!)...

And that was the relatively benign stuff! Then there are the bad things, like getting sick and puking your guts out, or having a throat so sore you can't even talk. You get a fever so bad that you can't sleep all night because you're incessantly alternating between freezing your ass off despite being buried under a dozen blankets and being drenched in buckets of sweat, and you say to yourself (after you've finished praying to a God you don't believe in), "I hope I never have to endure anything like this ever again. I can't!" But you will!!! You will get really sick again. And knowing that sucks so bad, and is so daunting! Same goes for any time you break an ankle, or pull a muscle, or strain your back. It sucks! And when you finally get better you think, "never again!" But you know it will happen again! You fall in love and then you fall out. And that sucks. And you go through a whole range of emotions that are so real at the time that you're experiencing them, until you come out of that haze, and you say to yourself, "I'll never go through that again." But you probably will. I mean, even something as mundane as getting an eyelash stuck in your eye. It's so fucking annoying, and irritating, and uncomfortable, and you can't get it out no matter how many times you flush your now-raw eyeball with water. And that won't be the last time!

Does this not exhaust anyone else? How do people have the time or energy to argue about stupid shit like using taxpayers' money to put a Ten Commandments monument in the courthouse of a country that supposedly separates Church and State? Why do people occupy themselves with inanity like John and Kate, or the Octamom, or Lindsay Lohan's repugnant fire crotch? I'm exhausted just thinking about it...

5 comments:

  1. I agree so much that i'm at a loss for words.

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  2. Dude, you should totally try heroin, although I imagine it's probably exhausting to maintain the habit.

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  3. just ti add my optimistic view on this:

    Isn't there something comforting knowing that there will ALWAYS be a never ending "to do list" of sh*t?

    If we know this, then we can begin to understand that life isn't about going from point A to point B. In other words it's not about "he who finishes all his Sh*t first wins".

    So if that is not the point, b/c we know it is never ending....

    what is? (que profound music).

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  4. Oh, there is no point, Gary. Which is actually freeing in many ways...but it only contributes to the exhausting nature of the aforementioned burdens, because you have do those things EVEN THOUGH there's no point. Very Sisyphusian, if you ask me...

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  5. Isn't the point to much of what you listed to not be a smelly lonely bum?

    ReplyDelete