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Monday, September 28, 2009


I have a friend who claimed to have lost his virginity at a party in high school, but I disagreed because he only squeezed in like half a wiener, and for just, like, three thrusts, at that. And no one came. To be perfectly honest, I don't remember the exact details, but it still raises the questions: what constitutes losing your virginity?

Is there a minimum number of pumps required, or is it instantly snatched (pun intended) upon first penetration? After you've already lost your virginity, do the rules for what constitutes sex change? Are the first-time rules more stringent or less? Is it only if someone orgasms? That can't be because I think there are actually women who have, somehow, never managed to do so. Is it different for a guy and a girl? Is it when your Uncle David makes you sit on his lap, naked, in the coat check room at your family reunion in 1984? (Just kidding, Uncle D. Your secret's safe with me.)

Anyway, that's all. Was just wondering. Thoughts? . . .


  1. Someone was busy on Yom Kipppur. Sinner. By the way...who are we talking about here?! It's Gabe isn't it?

  2. Wow, over the years, sitting around with plenty of different men and women, we've had a similar discussion; How do you define "having sex?" If a woman says she's "been with a man" do blow jobs count? Most women I know say BJs aren't "having sex." But the guys say "Oh yes it is!"
    I think the difference is that guys try to up their tallies, women try to down play theirs. Also, that men overly scrutinize the numbers when it comes to women they're thinking about shagging.
    Part of your argument has come up, that being, does it count as "having sex" if it was just penetration and no orgasm, especially if he doesn't. Who cares is she does? It's not like her orgasm is crucial to the continuation of the race or anything.

  3. C'mon, LAM, you know I can't betray my sources...