The Glass Menage

Inevitably, during a coed conversation about fantasies, a guy will mention a threesome with two girls. And, inevitably, a girl will condescendingly exhale and respond with, "You think you can pleasure two girls at once?" . . . Ummm, I don't know. Maybe. But who cares? What part of "fantasy" did you not understand? This is about me, and two girls worshipping my balls. What part of stressing out about simultaneously getting two girls off is remotely fantastical? No one said anything about "realistic." The fantasy isn't to please two girls at once, it's for two girls to fight over my dick . . . among other things. Too crude? I never know.

Oh, and another thing: there's little more frustrating than when a girl tells you she would consider a threesome with another girl . . . just not with you because she likes you too much and would get jealous. Arrrgggghhhh! Like me less then! Why the hell are you telling me that?! If you know you would, but wouldn't with me, then lie to me and say you would never do it, because as far as I'm concerned, that's a fact! Once we break up, you can do whatever sick (translated: hot) shit you want when I don't know about it. Some scumbag you don't respect, with tattoos, and a leather jacket, and long, greasy hair, who doesn't enrich your life or fulfill you in any way can reap the benefits of my efforts to open your mind. That sounds totally fair . . . I think I'm gonna go buy a leather jacket and cancel my haircut appointment for tomorrow . . .