Pull Your Pants Down

Okay, enough is enough. I thought this high-waisted style on girls would eventually go away on its own, but it clearly hasn't, so I feel it's time I cease being a spectator and . . . not actually do anything, but at least say something: it's ugly.

It's akin to short hair on a girl. If you're hot, you're probably gonna look hot in anything, including short hair and pants up to your titties, but that doesn't make it okay. Because you still look way better with long hair and regular-waisted pants, and more consequentially, you're tricking the borderline girls, whose wardrobes actually do affect their chances of getting guys, into wearing ridiculous, hideous outfits. And let's face it, didn't Sex and the City already do enough damage in that department?

And, like with short hair, girls like to tell other girls, "OMG, you look sooo cute!" when they wear high-waisted pants. Yeah, of course they're gonna say that; they know when they go out with you with that butch haircut and clown pants, you're one less person they have to compete with for male attention.

If you're a girl, and your friend tells you that you look cute with short hair and/or in high-waisted anything . . . she is not your friend. She's jealous of you and secretly hates you . . . or he's gay.