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Sunday, July 18, 2010

Thong Tha-Thong Thong Thong!

For those of you who have forgotten, or never knew, I do private tutoring on the side...and by "on the side," I mean, it's the only way I actually earn money at this juncture. Yes, miraculously, parents trust me with their children. Anyway, here's a little story one of my students regaled me with the other morning. I don't remember his exact words, but this is a pretty spot-on representation of our conversation:

STUDENT: Hey, [Curmudgeon], can I tell you a story?

CURMUDGEON: Of course.

STUDENT: It's probably not appropriate, though.

CURMUDGEON: Then you probably shouldn't.

STUDENT: So this mornin', I woke up, and I was totally blue ballin', so I--

CURMUDGEON: --Okay, so this is the part where you stop telling me the story.

STUDENT: Nah, check it out, it's really funny, though.


STUDENT: So I was totally blue ballin' this mornin', so I went to the computer to go jerk off. And I was watching a video of this hot chick in a thong, and she had a great ass, and I was gettin' all into it. And then, she takes off her thong...and she has a dick! How fucked up is that?! So I turned the computer off.

CURMUDGEON: Okay, that was actually funny... Now take out your Chemistry syllabus.

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