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Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Tickle Fiiiiiiight!

Last year, this girl I know ended up going home with some guy she met at a bar, so obviously, the next morning, I texted her, "Did you guys bang?" She responded with, "Not a convo for text." That's a yes.

This brought to mind that recent Eric Massa incident. You know, the Democratic congressman who "tickled" and "groped" his younger, male staff member and justified it by saying it was his 50th birthday party? Anyway, when Larry King asked him straight out (no pun intended) if he was gay, Massa replied, "ask my wife, ask my friends, ask the 10,000 sailors I served with in the Navy..." Well, turns out they did ask, and his fellow "seamen" seemed to indicate he was, in fact, gay. But here's a more efficient rubric for you: if you ask a guy if he's gay, and he says anything other than "no" . . . You have your answer. He's gay. That's pretty much the easiest question you can ask any heterosexual male. If he can't get that right, he's not straight (which is fine! So just say, "yes," asshole! You're perpetuating the anti-homosexual sentiment, you self-loathing starfish trooper!).

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