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Sunday, January 9, 2011

Carry This

I hate when you go out with a girl and she asks you this: "Can you carry my phone, gum, lip gloss, wallet, and keys?" No! It's not comfortable! That's why I never bring a lot of shit anywhere! That's why you have a purse. Use it. And stop acting entitled. Why should I have to endure your "super cute," bedazzled, chihuahua key chain digging into my upper thigh for the duration of our sure-to-be only date? Men aren't here to carry your shit. Do something.


  1. First, it takes a lot of vag for a woman to ask that of a first date.

    Second, it doesn't matter if this type of woman put everything in a purse. She would just ask you to carry her purse for her at certain points through the night, which is always a fun experience for a guy.

    However, I'd like to point out that I'm willing to hold a guy's stuff if he needs me to - if he's holding a bag and needs both hands or if he wants me to put something in my purse. So I'd hope a guy would be willing to do the same for me.

  2. You're totally right. It doesn't usually happen on a first date. Women are far craftier than that; they usually lull you into a false sense of security first.

    And I'd totally be willing to hold my lady's purse for her if she needs her hands for a particular task (I can think of one in particluar, eh...get it? Get it?), but I won't walk with it. We can stop, I'll hold it, and you can do whatever you need to do, for however long it takes, but locomotion with a purse is a no-no for a dude.