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Sunday, January 30, 2011

Natural Selection

I was recently watching an episode of one of the best shows on TV, A&E's The First 48, a weekly, hour-long documentary series that covers one or two homicide investigations per episode.  It's amazing and educational...especially if you want to learn how to get away with murder, which I think is probably a pretty handy skill to have in a real pinch.

Anyway, the episode I was watching took place in Miami.  A neighbor reported that a terrible odor was emanating from a nearby apartment, and when police came to check it out, they found three dead bodies inside the apartment (a husband and wife, both 45, and their daughter, 24), all pretty well decomposed.  Homicide detectives were called to the scene, but couldn't seem to find any evidence of a murder.  Then they found a note.

Turns out the deceased were fasting, as a family, as part of some religious expression of devout faith, and made a pact that they would stay locked in the apartment and not eat until God provided for them.  But alas, God must not have heard them.  Yet another missed opportunity for The Big Guy to prove his existence; He's an elusive one, that God fella.  As Ricky Gervais has said, "God must have been too busy giving AIDS to babies in Africa" to save these retards from starving themselves to death in a country that's responsible for creating the Big Gulp and the fast-food adjective "Super Size."

I'm gonna go ahead and take the position that the world is better off without these people.  Good on ya, Darwin.


  1. Did anyone question what they expected God to provide for them? Like, did they expect the Publisher's Clearing House to knock on their door with a check? I can't think of anything else that COULD be provided to a person if they lock themself in an apartment.

  2. Maybe... I mean, at least starve yourself to death on a park bench where someone who might provide for you could actually walk by you. Or where god could dump something on your head, like how Siddhartha ate bird poop.

    Well, you're right, Darwin took care of allowing this gene pool to continue.
    Darwin = 1
    God = 0