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Saturday, January 15, 2011

Locker Rooms

Look, I accept the fact that gym locker rooms are going to have a lot of male nudity, but the old men take the overall shamelessness and grossness to a whole new level. Like, fine, be naked when you change and shower, but you don't need to roam around the whole locker room naked, carrying on casual conversations as though you're not bare-assed in room full of other men.

Old people abuse this. They shuffle their droopy beanbags over to the urinals, where they stand, barefoot!, in puddles of other people's piss, and just fart and hock up gross chunks of phlegm and spit them past their floppy wieners... It's disgusting. Naked farts are disgusting. Then, you sit on that wooden bench in between the lockers, bending over to try and tie your basketball sneakers, and these guys unflinchingly put one leg up on the bench, right next to you, and dry their balls, right in your face! This is not okay! We're in America! There are personal-space heuristics in place that they are flagrantly violating!
The entire locker room experience is unpleasant enough. The smells...chlorine, body odor, cheap spray deodorant...please don't add to this unnecessarily...


  1. I like your point of view. I get that Gym's change rooms are quite a thing. I have just began my exploration in this area.


  2. Oh, it's quite a scene... Good luck navigating those murky waters, Ernesto!

  3. If this troubles you, surely you will have things to be ashamed of.
    In a changing male / female you go to undress, and after an activity to take a shower.
    I have it with a slip that is not very hygienic.
    If it bothers you not to look at a naked body ...
    I attend a lot of locker rooms, swimming tennis football etc.etc.
    frequented by older people, but I never found a dirty environment such as yours.
    from my point of view of the frequent changing bad ... or dovrtsti own out for you

    I hate taking a shower clothes, and struggle to strip for fear of being seen.

    Then maybe you have a big male dog ... What do you put your pants?

    live and let live Pippo

  4. Hahaha. AiE, be nice to my international (I think?) fans!

  5. grow up..not the highlight of my day, but not really a big deal. we all have the same shit. who cares..

  6. Yeah, who cares about that...we are all men back there, if you don't like to see, don't see it...but we all got a naked body under our clothes, like it or better get used to it ;)

  7. I didn't realize this post would be so provocative. You guys are totally gay. You love men's locker rooms...

  8. so do you, do you...

  9. if not, that wouldn't be soooo present on your memory that deserve even an article on this blog...shame on you men, just admit you loved it!!

  10. Owh, indeed this is very disturbing. I do have them a lot here in auckland too, but I pretend like I never saw a thing and just walk away... Or else, just dont be bothered to have a look. Should do good =) Cheers

  11. Shack, thanks for reading from Auckland! I was there for a few hours once before taking the train to Wellington, and then the ferry to Picton. Love your country...which is why it's so disappointing to know they have naked men there, too. Bummer. But still an awesome country...

  12. We are all born naked,
    nudity is beautyful no matter if it men or women.
    What is there to be ashamed of?!
    The World would be happier if everybody was naked!
    Best Wishes

  13. I agree; nudity is totally beautiful . . . as long as it's a female . . . with a good body.

    Thanks for reading, Malmoe!

  14. Just learn to appreciate looking at a man's naked body, Curmudgeon. You'll find that sprinkled in with the old guys are some pretty hot ones, also eager to be seen. Look at it this way, you are going to see a lot more live naked men in your life than you will women, have some fun with it!

  15. I've definitely seen more naked women in my time than naked men, and I'd like to keep it that way...

  16. I am just going to say this, GROW the F' UP dude. Obviously you have not spent a lot of time around other REAL MEN. REAL men walk around naked, they sit around in their underwear, they fart, talk loud, adjust their manhood, spit, curse, make rude comments, make racial slurs, say sexist things, get hard-on's, talk about women, blowjobs, pussy, cars, motorcycles, gripe about work, dream about beer parties, make stupid bets on sports, talk about sport, make stupider bets on lame ass dares and pull even lamer pranks. You are attacking the men on this board who are trying to tell you that the problem is not the others in the locker room, its you who have not been exposed enough to the normality of the male experience. You call them gay for defending being normal males and exhibiting the behavior that I'm sure your grandfather would not consider odd, and that you dad grew up with. the truth of the matter is that the stuff you are talking about takes place in every locker room, changing room, dorm, frat house, firehouse, police station and military barracks, and blue collar shops and factories around the world. This is all part of being a man, its been this way for as long as men have been gathering and it will be this way for as long as they do. It has only been with the rise of this current generation of weak, self absorbed, pretentious, and small minded males who have grown up with an education system that has failed to make them into men and with fathers who cared more about planning their midlife crises than being fathers that we have seen this manifestation of "anti-guy" mentality. the problem is with you, you obviously are a pansy who does not get how men really are since you have not had any REAL male influences in your life. Stop whining, grow up and man up. in other words stop being a foof and be a little more macho and you might find yourself with a lot more friends and a lot less wedgies.

  17. That damn education system and its failure to promote and reinforce our primitive and antiquated gender roles! Next thing you know they'll try to teach fairy tales like EVOLUTION and extend suffrage to women! Ridiculous.

    I don't get wedgies; I wear thongs. Get with the program.

    Also, have you actually ever read this blog? That was a pretty long-winded, defensive comment on a post that was meant as a joke about how we behave in locker rooms. Deep breath, Rocco...

  18. Curmudgeon! you rocks .... you should be fucked by all men existing on the earth.....
    thank you..

  19. Mmmm, Anonymous...thank you for that wonderful blessing/image. You're too kind...

  20. If naked old men in locker rooms bother you, why don't you just stay away instead of being soooo bigoted!

  21. This entire blog's existence is predicated on my bigotry. If I walked away from everything that irritated me, I'd have nothing to write about. I'd probably be a serial killer...of people like you.

  22. I never showered in a locker room. But if I did... I hate drying off with a moist towel. So i'd rather walk naked to my locker then with a towel wrapped around me, if I have to dry myself with that towel. I'm positive a moist towel irritates me more then some guys would be irritated because they saw me naked.

  23. GET A LIFE,, naked old men float my boat, its natural for oldermen, NAKED OR NOT, to chat to each other,,,IF IT PISSES YOU OFF,,,,STAY AWAY John in England.