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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Tyler Perry Has A Tiny Penis

Who the hell is Tyler Perry? Where did this guy come from and why is the inclusion of his name in the title of something supposed to be a selling point? Seriously, how insecure is this guy? If his product were so good, wouldn't it be able to stand on its own without his name? "Tyler Perry's House of Payne," "Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns," Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail! You don't see other producers/writers/directors putting their names on everything they do. You don't see Herschel Goldberg's Dinosaur Adventureland, or Saul Weinblatt's Rocket Destroyers, or whatever. That would be ridiculous!

That's why the only conclusion I can come to is that Tyler Perry has a tiny penis, which had to have been especially damaging growing up in the African-American community, given the prevalent stereotypes to the contrary. Growing up with such a tiny, tiny, minuscule penis, while burdened by such weighty expectations of having a big one, must have crushed his nascent self-esteem. The only way he felt he could compensate for this was by over-posturing, and putting his name on everything with which he was affiliated.

Who knows? Maybe he does it at home, too, with household items. Like, when he gets ready for bed, maybe he uses Tyler Perry's Toothpaste, or at the dinner table, he asks his wife to pass the Tyler Perry's Mashed Potatoes. I don't know. All I'm saying is, that guy's got a small wiener.

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