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Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Alright, Let's Just Stay Calm Here!!!

By now, almost everyone's seen this Phillies fan who got tased for running onto the field during a baseball game the other night, yes? (Video at the bottom for those who haven't.)

Well, now everyone's questioning whether the cop who did it used excessive force. You know, for all the asshole cops, and security guards, and people in positions of power who have viciously abused that power, is this really the incident we want to be questioning? Ever heard of the expression, "Pick your battles?" Merely questioning this incident weakens the legitimate claims against authority of countless others. The kid came out of the stands and ran onto the field during a game, lest we forget the Monica Seles and Royals first base coach incidents... Here's a way to pretty much guarantee you won't get tased while attending a professional sporting event: stay in the fucking stands!


  1. I got a question. How about fat cops? Doesn't being too slow to chase and catch someone really mean that you're going to have to shoot someone? Either with a taser or a gun? It was a nice shot, on the run and everything with what I'd guess isn't all that accurate, and that photo is pretty epic. But that poor kid jumped in the ring with one expectation of pulling a Benny Hill and instead got put on his face when the weaponry in this dual escalated to his surprise (which totally entertained me in this case). So, if we don't want to have to rely on guns and tasers so much, don't we need to set a higher precedent that enforcement officers of all kinds be bigger, faster and stronger than most of us? Hopefully smarter too?

    I guess that answers my own question. There's no way we can ensure that all cops and security guards are the finest physical and moral specimens in our societies (and if we're partitioning our population for where we'd ideally like them to be, would we rather have all of those supermen in the military?). So that's why we're gonna have more shootings and tasings. Especially as we all continue to get fatter and lazier. I guess we all better just learn to accept that we'll probably all be shot at one point or another.

    Hey, that reminds me--don't forget to support the second amendment and make sure our government doesn't close the loophole taking away anyone's ability to buy as many crazy and automatic guns as they like with minimal scrutiny at gun shows!

  2. If we start raising the standards for cops, what are all the high-school bullies and bullied going to do for work?!

  3. Haha,

    Before even reading the above posts, I was going to comment on how tubby that cop looked, and how using the taser was the only way he had a chance of catching the teen.

    Say to no Krispy Kremes, people.