I have a friend. He is a foreigner. As such, he has always cheated on his girlfriends, because, in other countries, this behavior seems to be a more widely accepted practice, for men to sleep with other women despite being in committed relationships.
Anyway, he visited recently and told me he's had a serious girlfriend for almost a year, who he thinks might be the one, and he hasn't cheated on yet! Then, in the next sentence, he said we should go out and look for girls while he's in town. So I said, "I thought you just said you may have found The One." And he goes, "Yeah, but I'm in another country. If a fly lands in my soup, I'm gonna eat it."
What?! That's a terrible analogy! If a fly lands in your soup, you send the soup back, or, if you're extra gross, you take it out, and then eat the rest of the soup. So for the next 10 minutes we laughed about his retarded, foreigner analogy, and just kept making intentionally worse ones. "If a shit lands in the toilet, I'm gonna pick it up with my hands." "If there's a dick in my ass, I'm going to suck it." "If a tampon steeps in my tea, I'm going to drink it." . . . You get the idea . . .