The Real Curmudgeon

I drove through an intersection yesterday, legally, and about one-to-two full seconds after, I saw, in my rear-view mirror, that a man on a bike then crossed that intersection.

About a minute later, an old man, in his 70's, pulls up alongside me and rolls down his window. I figure he wants to ask for directions, so I roll down my window to help. Turns out he's just angry about being old, or something, because he goes, "You almost killed a man on a bike back there!" So I try to explain, because, hey, I, too, am going to be angry and have gray pubes one day. I say, "No, I saw him. He didn't cross until well after I was through the intersection." He shakes his head furiously, but the light changes, and we drive off.

At the next light, he honks and rolls down his window again. Now he's on the phone, too. This dude's still not over it, and he's all riled up and says, "You could have killed him! It's very stupid!" Light changes, we drive off.

Next light, I honk and roll down my window; he rolls down his. He's still on his phone, and I say, "You know, for someone who's so concerned with road safety you're on your phone an awful lot." He gives me this incredulous look and I go, "See, now we're both assholes who don't mind our own fucking business." And I rolled up my window and drove off...