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Saturday, June 5, 2010

Oh No You Hermaphrodi'int!

I know a girl who, when she was little, her older sister (lied) told her that she was born a hermaphrodite. Her sister immediately followed this astonishing news with, "If you ask Mom, she's just gonna lie and say it isn't true."

Let's pause for a moment to fully appreciate the degree to which this girl's older sister was an evil mastermind. "If you ask Mom, she's just gonna lie and say it isn't true."?! There's no way to disprove that!!! The only source that could've discredited the older sister's declaration has now been compromised by that simple, little, alarmingly cruel caveat. I mean, I don't know the exact number, but you have to figure this poor girl thought she was born a fucking hermaphrodite for years! She walked around with this notion in the back of her head, that she was born with a penis that had been chopped off, and that her parents were lying to her to keep it a secret. That's insane! . . . And hilarious.

(Special thanks to H . . . for being born a disgusting hermaphrodite!)


  1. Ariel told me my parents found me on a store shelf in Bolivia. I still question it.

  2. HAH! she was also told she was found on a rock at the beach, in a dumpster, and that my mom was given the wrong baby at the hospital. Me on the other hand, well I was always told that I was going to be sold.

  3. Danny, I think I actually remember that story!

    BAT . . . I don't know what to say. Kenny and Jenny created a monster, man . . .