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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Fat Black People of Whom I've Never Heard

What's with this sudden influx of shitty movies starring unknown fat black actors?

Exhibit A: Precious. Some of the known people involved in this one are Mariah Carey, Mo'Nique, Tyler Perry, and Queen Latifah. You do the math.

Exhibit B: The Blind Side. Co-stars Sandra Bullock and the trailer (God, I hate myself for using that word instead of "preview." A little part of me dies every time) features a Rob Thomas song.

Here are the PREVIEWS so you can see what I mean. I wouldn't recommend watching them in their entireties:


  1. Blind Side was a book (true story) that was actually fairly good, and then converted into a fairly shitty movie. I can't take Sandra Bullock as a concerned mom after seeing her embarass herself in so many movies over the last decade. It should have been Dame Judy Dench or Diane Keaton or one of those least with their smart british or new england accents I would have believed the illusion that they are smart and wise....

  2. Okay, okay. Wait. I was okay with there being yet another movie that Tyler Perry worked on (this time with Oprah, god help us all), but really, Sundance?? REALLY? How can anyone take you seriously after you award this movie a prize?

  3. I made it 12 second into the first one before I was done. 17 seconds into the 2nd one, because I was rendered catatonic by middle-aged Sandra Bullock's awful southern accent.