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Tuesday, March 9, 2010


I finally saw Avatar a couple weeks ago. I mean, I get it. It looked amazing. But if I wanted to see something pretty with no substance, I'd set aside seven minutes to jerk off to my roommate's Victoria's Secret catalog and save myself about two-and-a-half hours.

But seriously, this thing was written for retarded children. It was 12 years since James Cameron made Titanic, not to mention he apparently started working on Avatar in 1994!, and that was the best writing he could come up with? It, like, kind of masqueraded as a political vehicle, but at the dumbest, most superficial level by using obvious catch phrases like, "preemptive strike," and some bullshit about conquering indigenous people, and then by calling the hard-to-find resource for which America (because it seemed this was an American mission, and not an Earth mission, seeing as everyone had American accents) were exploiting Pandora (the equally irksome, cheesy-fuck name of the planet that's being invaded) "unobtainium." Really? Really?! Ahhhhh!!!

As I was watching, and trying to enjoy the scenery, I couldn't help but be distracted and annoyed by all this crap! And then I thought about all the morons who watch Avatar, and probably walk away saying, "Wow. That was really smart with all that political stuff. It's just like us and Iraq, and oil, and the Indians... I'm hungry. Let's go get some McDonald's." And that annoyed me infinitely more...


  1. I hate to quote Wiki, but here is the low-down on unobtainium. (My nerd of a dad clued me in to this.) "Since the late 1950s, [1][2] aerospace engineers have used the term unobtainium when referring to unusual or costly materials, or when theoretically considering a material perfect for their needs in all respects, except that it does not exist. By the 1990s, the term was in wide use, even in formal engineering papers such as "Towards unobtainium [new composite materials for space applications]"."

  2. I know. I had read that already, too; I usually double check things before I rip into them. But given the retarded context, I decided to not give Cameron the benefit of the doubt and assume he didn't fully recognize the past academic usage...

  3. wow! it's great that you actually answer your comments. You have no idea write a post and just let the people that comment to die.

    Great blog keep up the good writin'!!

  4. I try to. It doesn't send me alerts, though, so I actually have to periodically peruse the page to see if I've gotten any new ones. Luckily (or not), I have a small enough number of people commenting for me to adequately manage...

  5. I'm sorry the movie that was MADE IN AMERICA had American accents. I'm sorry you think amazing and top of the line CGI is crap. I'm sorry you have to live in a world where things like this movie just can't make you happy. Also, I did walk away with comparisons to Iraq, thank you very much.

  6. Two things, Anonymous:

    1. If you'll read the first paragraph, I actually used the exact same word as you to describe the visual effects: "amazing." So we agree there.

    2. Re: Iraq're probably one of the morons to whom I was referring. Defensive much?

    But, I will agree with you on one other thing. I, too, am sorry I have to live in a world where things like this movie just can't make me happy...