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Thursday, March 4, 2010

I Heard That Claritin Uses Child Labor and Rapes Puppies

So my latest paranoia is that I think I'm developing allergies. I decided to do some scientific experiments to test this theory, which actually just entailed me buying a five-pack of Claritin. These Claritin people are such dicks! I open the box, and there's a perforated rectangle comprised of six squares, five of which have pills in them. There's a blank square where a sixth pill would be. What the fuck?! That's a six-pack, not a five-pack! Why even provide a six-pack with only five pills?! It's like they're intentionally rubbing it in your face that they're ripping you off!

F U, Claritin. I'm over allergies. . . . Wait! Shit! That means it worked! Damnit.

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