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Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Anticlimactic Punchlines

I hate when people say something is "classic." Especially when they bestow that title upon an event that's just occurred. "Classic" implies that something has stood the test of time. If your friend spills a drink, you can't immediately say, "that's classic!" Well, you can, but you'd be a jackass.

Same goes for "priceless." Stop saying this. If your punchline comes from MasterCard commercials, stay far away from me...unless you like being your face. (Can you loathe to a face? Does that even work? Well, if it's possible, that's what I would do to you if you used the word "priceless." I would loathe you. Overtly.) Whatever you're deeming priceless can probably have a price put on it, and my guess is, the free market wouldn't be demanding all that much.

Finally, I hate when people say, "famous last words." Ha. Ha. Ha. Hilarious. Something tells me nothing you ever say in your entire life will be famous. "I bet I can eat that whole pizza!" "Famous last words." "I have to go to the bathroom." "Famous last words." "I don't have a gag reflex." "Famous last words." Jesus Christ...

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